So I figured I’d make this fort for two.
And lye in it at night
And wait for you.
I assumed youd show up one day
And without hesitation look me in the eye and say
I wanna be with you
Forget this broken sundown
Let’s pack up our little camp
And make a break from this town
Just grab the pillows and the blankets
So we can sleep together
We’ll snuggle real close through the stormy weather.
Everything you want from me you can take
My last breath as well because there’s no need for me to wake I can forever dream of you in this fort made for two.

I sat down and prepared to write,

Out of hate,

Out of angst,

But mostly out of my heart.

Nothing much goes my way.

But as long as I know that you’re here to stay,

To listen

To feel,

Everything I try and express,

I think I know that I’ll be okay.

My note is flat,

But my intentions are high.

I just can’t explain the words I say.

They tediously eat at me.

Every night and day.

Knowing I can’t make you happy,

I can live with.

For now.

But knowing that you’ve found someone else,

It’s just to much to fathom.

I guess I’ll just sleep.

and sleep some more.

And write about the dreams I have.

They seem to be the only thin slice of joy,

that I can half assed express.

You kissed me in the bright sunshine,

And in the pale moon light.

You bit my lip on a swing set built for too.

And made me slow dance in the middle of the street.

Grazed my cheek with you’re hand.

So gentle.

So light. 

You tell me how you like the way I smile on a daily basis.

Make me feel like I’m beautiful,

With just the way you look at me and think.

You embarass me in public places,

I shyly laugh and soak it in.

You,

Just you.

I think it’s safe to say,

That I am falling.

Harder and harder with every passing day. <3

It’s different now.

That you’re not around.

To hold my hand and tell me wrong from right.

Or at least from your perspective. 

Things are different,

because I fell for him.

and I thought I couldn’t ever love again.

I thought I couldn’t see anyone quite like I saw you.

But things change.

People change.

Cards are exchanged.

And leaves are turned.

My heart is better sewn 

Than it is whole.

As previously deminstrated. <3

He admires the way I role like a rolling stone.

It’s so much easier to let go when we fight.

It’s so much easier to just walk away from you when you insult me.

But when everything has settled down,

I’m speechless.

It’s come to the point where we grew up to fast and we’re heading different ways.

That part where you have to decide whats best.

The part that you never thought would come.

And then you realize, 

You have to face your biggest fears

With a straight face. 

me today.(:

I don’t believe so.

You don’t fucking own me. Don’t stalk me as though I’m your prey. It’s ridiculous that not only can I not talk to someone else without you throwing a fit, but  it’s like I’ve lost my total right of the first amendment around you. 

This “break” has been the least stressed out I’ve been in months. Maybe we should continue this break into less of a temporary situation.

I like knowing that I’m on my own and that I’m not relying on anyone to make my day better. Its all up to me. I like my phone not lighting up with texts every two minutes asking if I’m “there”. Of course I’m there physically. But mentally I want to be able to think of something anything less shallow than what you’re doing.

Maybe this should be less of a temporary situation.

I fell in love with a man at a party. I saw hearts around him, (as the drugs had promised). He thought I was younger. So we never retired together, and I never knew what his lips tasted like. I added him on a popular social networking sight, (my young mind was hooked) I swore to my self his lips would be my addiction. Acting like  I didn’t remember anything I sent him a message and asked him what I’d been longing to do I took a deep breathe and typed it out with my words being as careful as possible. I finally sent:

“Was it you that I saw yesterday? At that party?”

He replied:
” I believe so. Sorry I bailed so early.”

My response:

“You didn’t miss much.”

And those were the only words we spoke for years. Until just the other day he asked me to call him. I was in a state of false awe. And agreed.

I had sneakin him into my house in the middle of the night.

His kisses were worth waiting for.

But he didn’t feel the same way.

I could only tell by his body language, he thought it was like an everyday thing. But I don’t fall everyday. I don’t fall often, and it doesn’t happen easily. I feel like Romeo did when when Rosaline couldn’t return his love.

But does that mean that I will find my long awaited Juliet soon? Or was it just a one night charade.

Today has been more weepy than most.

Maybe I’ll hear from him again